79 Wistful Vista

Ask Molly: Issue 1

2009-10-28T11:03:00.005-05:00

Dear Ms. McGee,

The other night my husband suggested that when our children are old enough to understand what they’re hearing and seeing, we’re going to get rid of cable television and start regularly listening to old time radio shows. What can you tell us about what’s available, and what would you recommend for youngsters?

GF

***************

Dear GF,

Why not start now? Exposing babies to language in any way is nearly always positive (One soap box at a time, but baby sign is also a great way to accomplish this). Being able to do this without the negative effects of television's visual stimulation (see this article - and this one - for more on that) is the perk of Old Time Radio. You'd have to dig to find shows with questionable content, so you're pretty much safe with anything. Personally, I think the comedies are best for young 'uns. Of course my favorites are the staples: Jack Benny, Burns and Allen, and the inspiration for this blog, Fibber McGee and Molly. While I personally find her voice aggravating, little babies might enjoy the adventures of Baby Snooks.

You can even introduce your son (son, what? You said children. I must be psychic) to classic movies and stories through OTR. Every age is a good age for Bing Crosby. With Christmas right around the corner, Cinnamon Bear can be a fun romp for the kiddos, along with these classics - Jack Benny at his best.

The main benefit of getting your child interested in Old Time Radio from a young age, is how cool his Auntie Molly will think he is for it.

So this is Christmas?

2008-12-23T10:57:00.004-06:00

The only member of family that I will be spending Christmas with this year is my Mother. Which is great, and I am looking forward to it. But it's difficult not to ache for the rest of my family. I've come to terms with it at this moment in time, but it's hard to imagine I'll be so complacent come Thursday morning.

If other factors in my life were different, I may not feel as "family sick." But I currently have 90% of my belongings in storage so I can live with a family I babysit for. This definitely has its perks (read: perk. No rent), but I didn't plan ahead, and all of my Christmas memorabilia is too hard to reach in my little storage unit. So I am left this year without my beloved Old Time Radio tapes. I realize that I can search online for MP3s of Jack and Mary Christmas shopping or of Fibber's ill-fated decorating dreams. But it just isn't the same.

It just isn't the same.

Happy Father's Day to the one who started it all.

2008-06-15T09:25:00.008-05:00

I have no doubt that if my dad had never purchased that cheesy, plastic radio case full of classic shows from yesteryear, I would never have gotten into Old-Time Radio. If he had tried to introduce it to me in Jr. High or High School, I probably would have rolled my eyes and kept listening to blink-182. But I received those tapes at an age when I was young enough to not be self-conscious about listening to them. And once I grew to love the radio shows I was never able to stop.

My dad is still one of a only a handful of people that I can talk to about the shows. He actually knows who I'm talking about when I drop names like Don Wilson or Bill Goodwin. He laughs at silly lines like I do and can be equally creeped out by a really good episode of "Suspense!"

Recently the poor guy unwittingly exposed himself to poison ivy whilst weed eating in South Carolina. Yesterday he sent two photos via e-mail: how he used to weed eat and how he weed eats now.

So on this father's day I wish for you that poison ivy be eradicated and that we have many years ahead of us full of, amongst other things, lots of good OTR talk. Thank you for saving me from myself. If it weren't for those tapes I would probably instead have a blog dedicated to all things "One Tree Hill."

Love you, Pops!

OTR stars get animated.

2008-06-11T12:12:00.008-05:00

As I've mentioned before, old-time radio has been a part of my life since before my age had two digits in it. Which means that by the age of 24 I had heard Phil Harris' voice as the bandleader on the Jack Benny program easily thousands of times. It was ingrained into my conscious and subconscious. Yet until less than a year ago it hadn't clicked that I had heard that voice elsewhere.

One day I was watching "The AristoCats" with some kids I babysit. I was in the kitchen, head turned away, and realized I was a hearing a familiar voice, but it was out of context. I closed my eyes and concentrated. Then it hit me. How had I never noticed it before?

Phil Harris is not only the voice of Thomas O'Malley the alley cat in the aforementioned cartoon, he is also the voice of Baloo in "Jungle Book" and Little John in "Robin Hood." All movies I have seen many-a-time in my life, and somehow it just never clicked. How had I missed it? I could understand if these weren't cartoons, I'm just now beginning to faces to all of the voices I'm oh-so-familiar with. But I hadn't recognized his voice. It confounded me, but I was intrigued. What other old-time radio stars had made cartoon appearances? Here's what I've found so far:

Jim Jordan, aka Fibber McGee, is the voice of the albatross, Orville, in "The Rescuers." (Another revelation that made me go "DUH!")

Ok, well that's really all I have for now. Do you have a name to add to the list?

Jack Benny presents the "Golden Memories of Radio."

2008-06-11T11:06:00.005-05:00

Kudos to my brother. This year he got me (his wife, too, of course, but I'm pretty sure he's the one who found it) a set of records of Jack Benny reminiscing about, you guessed it, the golden age of radio.

I finally got a chance to listen to side one of record one last night and was immediately hooked. Benny describes radio as "do-it-yourself television." You paint your own picture with your imagination. He begins with a clip to help warm up your imagination. And what is said clip? McGee opening his infamous closet, much to Molly's dismay, and the inevitable tumbling out of all of his junk. The scene is an array of clangs and bangs and clashes. Not a single item is named, yet the listener is able to create a clear picture for themselves.

The next clip comes from Philco Radio Time, a show hosted by my first love, Bing Crosby. Benny and his real-life wife and on-air costar are the guests on this episode, and the former is attempting a solo on his violin. After a few failed tries he proclaims, "I can't understand it, I've never played so poorly." To which Crosby replies, "Oh cheer up, sure you have."

Then Jack plays a clip chosen by George Burns himself as one of his particular favorites from his show. It's a scene where Gracie is complaining about a list of the best men from the previous half century. Gracie has her own idea about who should have been chosen as number one on the list, and goes on and on about what a great man he is, so handsome, so talented. And naturally George thinks he is referring to him but Gracie bursts his bubble by revealing it's Charles Boyer. George is shocked. Charles Boyer over Thomas Edison? Over Albert Einstein? "Einstein is the father of relativity," he interjects. "Who's she?" Gracie Responds. "Relativity Einstein?....I think she's with Warner Bros." is George's classic answer.

The last clip is Amos & Andy, a show I've never been able to get into. Mostly because they're white actors playing off of the archetypes of African Americans. The issue of racism in OTR is a post all in its own.

Coming attractions from "Golden Memories of Radio":
- Day Time Radio & Commercials
- The Great Radio Comedians
- Radio Adventure & Drama
- The Classic Radio News Broadcasts
- The March Toward WWII
- On-The-Spot Coverage of Sports! (the "!" is in the title, I didn't add that)
- Radio Reports WWII
- Great Moments of Humor & Pathos
- Special Production: Arch Oboler presents "Cat Wife." (I've heard this before and it's disturbingly creepy. I'll try to find it online. Totally worth a listen.)

I'm still here.

2008-06-02T14:34:00.002-05:00

But all of my OTR tapes are in storage and my iPod is in desperate need of some updates. Stay tuned, I'll get on that shortly. Until then I'm searching online for this amazing "tale that is well-calculated to keep you in...Suspense!" starring Bette Davis that I listened to on a drive home from Dallas a few weeks back. When I find it, I'll tell you where you can listen to it.

Until then, my fellow OTR-aficionados...

Did you catch it? Did you?

2008-04-10T08:39:00.005-05:00

Probably not. For sure no one in the audience did. It was probably the funniest part of his whole bit. Don't watch the whole thing, by any means. Let it load, then scan forward to 2:40 then watch until 2:50.

Now here is some good comedy to explain what caught my eye. Johnny Carson was copying it over 50 years ago, and last night Billy Crystal copied it on American Idol.
Classic.

oh. my. gosh.

2008-03-18T17:29:00.011-05:00

A whole new world has been opened up to me.
I could create an entire new wardrobe out of Old-Time radio shirts.
Wow.
Fibber McGee and Molly

Burns and Allen

Jack Benny

The Surprise Party.

2008-03-18T15:00:00.009-05:00

If I had been alive in 1940 my vote would have gone to Gracie Allen for President. In fact, come November, I might be writing in her name.

I know my name is Molly McGee, but I chose her mainly for sentimental reasons. That is a post to come. However, my true favorite comedienne has been and always will be Ms. Gracie Allen.

In March of 1940, Gracie Allen announced that she was running -- against Roosevelt, mind you -- for President. As her husband, George Burns, liked to explain the birth of the idea:

"Gracie and I were at home in Beverly Hills with our children [when she] suddenly remarked, ‘I’m tired of knitting this sweater. I think I’ll run for president this year.’”

Here are some classic "Gracie-isms" from the campaign trail:

She ran as the head of the Surprise Party. Why the Surprise Party? As Gracie later explained, her mother was a Democrat, her father a Republican, and Gracie had been born a Surprise.

Her campaign platform was "redwood trimmed with ‘nutty’ pine."

Queried on the Neutrality Bill pending before Congress, her position was an unequivocal "If we owe it, let's pay it."

Allen was a strong supporter of the Dies Committee--"If we didn't keep [it] going, who'd color our Easter eggs?"

Asked if she would recognize Russia, Gracie showed uncharacteristic hesitation: "I don't know. I meet so many people...."

As I was doing research for this post, I discovered that I can actually buy campaign merchandise! Generous hearts check this out, and know that according the page's size chart, I'd wear a medium shirt and I like it in brown.

"If the country's going Gracie, so can you."

Ask Molly McGee, part I

2008-01-19T12:32:00.003-06:00

girlfriday poses the question:
did TV kill the Radio star?

For most, yes. For others, no.

Some never tried to transition into television, some tried and failed. A lucky few found success on the small screen.

George Burns and Gracie Allen are probably two of the most likable people to ever have careers in Hollywood. It would only make sense that the television version of their radio show would be so successful it would last for eight years.

The Jack Benny Program ran for an impressive 15 years on television.

Impressive, until you consider that his radio show ran for 23 years. To put in perspective, when he started the show, America was in the first years of the Depression; when he ended it, Eisenhower was president. He was still kickin' it on the radio when I Love Lucy and Ozzie & Harriet were airing on television. When his TV show ended in 1965, Beatlemania was still sweeping the nation. From Prohibition to LBJ. He was a part of American pop culture for that long.

Suspense? Dragnet? The Lone Ranger? All great contributions to the world of television that were birthed on radio.

Fibber McGee & Molly and The Great Gildersleeve, both hugely popular on the airwaves, only lasted a season on the telly. These are only two examples of what was typically the trend when shows tried to make the jump.

Of course TV was the ultimate cause for the demise of radio, which makes sense, and is just what happens in a world of advancing technology. Certain stars transcended radio. Their popularity couldn't be confined to the radio. America accepted them into their hearts, and weren't ready to let them go just because the medium they had met them on was fading into the past. Some stars were not so lucky. Faces made for radio, I guess they would say.

If you were pleased by this answer, and wish to have your own question answered, post them in the comments section. Molly McGee will do her best to answer your queries, that she will.

Screen Director's Assignment. Production: this blog. Star: me. Director: me.

2008-01-19T09:58:00.003-06:00

I have kind of an obsessive personality. Not about all things. There are just certain ideas that I get into my head that I can't let go of. This blog, for instance. When I decided to create it, I had a concept. Posts about specific episodes, each with a headline that referenced Old-Time Radio in some creative way.

Then the unthinkable happened.

I had been using the same cassette and record player contraption for more than a decade. It also has an 8 track attached, but I've never used that. I use the record player from time to time, mostly for Christmas music and a Best of Mamas and Papas album. The cassette player I used on a nightly basis. I would choose a tape one night before bed, probably a favorite that I've listened to for years, and then I would listen to the tape for usually a month, maybe two. Like I said, obsessive.

One night in December, I went to push play on The Screen Director's Assignment of Miracle on 34th Street, and no noise emerged from my two-feet tall speakers, est. circa 1985. I took out the tape, assuming it was on the wrong side. It wasn't. I put a new tape in, pushed play and examined. Nothing moved. It just sat there, silently. I checked the tape, I hit the tape player a few times, because that usually fixes things. Nothing.

She lived a good life. She lived in seven houses, two cities and two states. She was kind of like a security blanket for me, or at least the device that delivered the blanket to me each night. She will probably be replaced by some lame-ass boombox from Goodwill, whenever I get around to going there. Maybe today. I wanted to show you a picture of her, but I haven't taken the picture yet, so that's why I couldn't download it. So that's Edmund Gwenn. He played Santa Claus in the 1947 film version and in the radio one that I haven't been able to listen to in over a month.

During Christmas I wanted to post about my favorite Christmas shows, I wanted to provide exact quotes but I couldn't. Instead of writing perfectly good posts quoting my shows with near perfect precision, I just didn't write at all. I didn't write anything. I can quote those shows backwards to front, but I wanted more. Because I have an idea and I want that idea to be executed perfectly. I need to get over that. It's really annoying.

Someday I'll provide you with a rundown of my all time favorite Christmas shows, but I'll surprise you with it. Who doesn't need a little Christmas spirit in, say, April?

L.S.M.F.T.

2007-11-14T18:03:00.000-06:00

"Lucky Strike Means Fine Tobacco."

It's amazing that with all the tobacco commercials I heard growing up I don't smoke four packs a day.

If I were to buy into all of the fine products that sponsored my favorite shows, I would only use Johnson's wax to clean my floors (housewives flock to buy it!), Folger's Coffee in my coffee pot (it's good 'til the last drop!), Carnation milk in my cereal (milk from contented cows!), and Swan soap in the shower (it's eight ways better than old style floating soaps!) . . . What exactly are floating soaps?

But choosing a cigarette brand would be difficult. Jack Benny promoted Lucky Strikes. Bing Crosby preferred Chesterfields. Two great men, whose advice do I follow? I suppose I'll have to pick the brand with the best jingle. The clear winner here is Chesterfield:

"Chesterfields, Chesterfields always win first place. That milder mild tobacco never leaves an aftertaste. So open a pack, give 'em a smell, then you'll smoke 'em."

I'm sold, aren't you?

Oh, heavenly days!

2007-11-09T01:00:00.000-06:00

"There has always been a lot of rivalry in Wistful Vista over whose house is the most beautifully decorated for Christmas. Mr. McGee of number 79 has never placed in the first 25. Until maybe this year. Because here in the hardware store laying in a supply of outdoor lighting equipment, we find that once-a-year exterior decorator, and his wife, Fibber McGee & Molly. . ."

One fateful Christmas, circa me, 8-years-old, my father gave our family six cassette tapes of Old-Time Radio recordings. The episodes were all Christmas-themed and came in a cheap, plastic case shaped like an old-fashioned radio. That same year my dad also gave me a tape of Bing Crosby's White Christmas in my stocking. At least that's how I like to remember it. It's quite possible these gifts arrived on different years, but I like thinking that the day I discovered Bing Crosby was the same day I discovered Old Time Radio. They are two strange loves for a girl of only 24, but love them I do.

When I first began to listen to these tapes my immediate favorite was the Fibber McGee and Molly show. The McGees head home from the aforementioned hardware store with the copious amount of supplies purchased by Fibber. As he decorates the house, many passersby (all friends of the McGees, of course) stop to shoot the breeze, and hilarity ensues. I might be playing fast and loose with the word hilarity here, but I can still get a chuckle out of it, even after listening to it hundreds of times over the past 16 years.

I lost the tape for a few years and began listening to the other shows. These tapes were my first introduction to Burns & Allen show, The Jack Benny Program and even The Great Gildersleeve, a spin-off of Fibber McGee. At some point in middle school I came into possession of a catalogue that sold Old-Time Radio tapes. It felt like a whole new world had been opened up to me. The first collection of tapes I bought for myself was Old-Time Radio's Greatest Shows, as chosen by the Radio Spirit's, Inc. Sixty episodes for $60, and I saved my hard-earned babysitting money to buy them, a purchase I'm still getting use out of all these years later. I now own hundreds of episodes on tape, a few on cds and about a dozen mp3s. But listening to them on tape is still my preferred method.

I love Old-Time Radio. For sentimental reasons, for its historical relevance and for the plain and simple fact that I enjoy it. It can make me laugh, cry and even scare the pants off me. It has long been a part of my life, and I'd now I'd like to write about it. I hope you, whomever you may be, enjoy what I have to say and maybe even learn something new about the history of American entertainment.